CRAB CAKES

THAT MAKE YA WANNA DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY.

So these crab cakes are the best damn crabcakes this side of Nova Scotia. Until I am proven other wise I will stand by this statment. I am quite willing to try your best recipe and be proven wrong. Everyone who has had the pleasure of trying them go crazy for them especialy when I serve them with a sate sauce.

You will need a couple of hours to do this it's not quick but it is theraputic if enhanced by an open heart and a bottle of champagne. You can keep them for up to 24 hours in the fridge if necessary. You should be able to get between 14 and 16 pieces depending on how big you want them.

Crab cakes:

350g crab meat (not that nasty formed stuff you can get, I will personally spank you if you use this stuff. I mean it's like using powdered hollandaise on your eggs benedict. I think you get my point)

As I was saying before I went off on my rant about formed seafood and powdered sauces. You will need:

350g crab meat (drain off excess liquid)

1/2 onion,

2 cloves garlic,

1/3 red pepper,

1/2 stick celery,

1/2 cup corn,

2 tablespoons fresh parsley,

1/2 cup mayonnaise,

1 egg,

1 cup fine bread crumbs,

Salt and pepper,

You will need another 2 eggs and 3 cups of bread crumbs for coating them before cooking.

Firstly dice up onion, pepper, garlic and celery and saute them in a little oil. Add your sweetcorn and parsley and cook without colour for a couple of minutes. Add all this to the crab meat and mix in the mayonnaise with your S & P. Taste the mixture to see if it is agreeable to your taste. If you need more seasoning now is the time to do it before you add the raw egg. Put in your beaten egg and bread crumbs. You should be able to form patties with them. If it is too wet add more breadcrumbs or some parmasan cheese if you like it. Form into small patties and dip in beaten egg and bread crumbs. I usually cook one up at this point to make sure that they hold together. It is best to refridgerate them for an hour or so while you finish up your bubbly grape juice. Just pan fry them till they are pleasently browned on either side.

SATE SAUCE

I have made this many times and the result is always different as I tend to switch up the quantities. So I will give you my rough guide to making this sauce. Be careful to make it right or it will end up tasting like arse cream.

Take:

1 cup cream (or milk)

1/2 cup smooth peanut butter,

1/2 teaspoon chilli pepper flakes,

3 cloves garlic,

1/2 small onion,

1/3 cup soy sauce

Saute your finely chopped onion, pepper flakes and garlic until they look opaque. Add the cream and bring to the boil. Whisk in the peanut butter and soy sauce. It's important to taste this while you make it. If it tastes a little flat you can add more soy, pepper flakes or more peanut butter to thicken it up a bit. It really depends on your taste buds.

Serve warm with your crab cakes. Oh so decadent. Om nom nom. Go play my friends and then put on your dancing shoes and join me.